The Key To Conscious Parenting

Happy mother and daughter at summer field

For the past 12 years I have had the pleasure of being the mother to three girls, and in that time, I have learned more about myself than I ever expected. I am writing this post because I want to propose that we occupy the role of parenthood in an entirely different way, with a renewed curiosity, a heightened awareness and a fresh sense of commitment.

Our children are facing challenges today that we couldn’t have dreamed of, and evidence suggests they are buckling under the pressure. One in five children in America show signs or symptoms of a psychological disorder, and that is a hair-raising statistic. The use of ADHD drugs is at an exponentially high 274% global increase. UNICEF did a study a few years ago and found American children are the second unhappiest in the world.

Each one of us holds transformative power, and there is real science behind this to show how the parental relationship can affect us as adults not only psychologically, but also biologically. Dr. Siegel, a neuropsychiatrist and one of my favorite authors, talks about how early interactions affect our brains in his book The Whole Brain-Child. I highly recommend the book, but I want to share with you a few key takeaways, one of those being the idea of conscious parenting.

Conscious parenting doesn’t necessarily mean spending every waking hour with your children, rather it means that when you do spend time with your kids, you make it meaningful and make sure you are present in the moment. You can practice the idea of conscious parenting when you help with your children’s homework or spend 10 minutes with them while they get ready in the morning. Listen with empathy and respond to what is said with full awareness. In their essay, called “Recognizing Our Hidden Wounds”, Psychoanalysts Harville Hendrix and Helen Lakelly Hunt discuss “the importance of recognizing when and how we slip into the past.” When we have a problem-causing “automatic, unexamined reaction” to a child’s behavior, that’s an indication that we are approaching the situation from an unresolved childhood wound.

The idea is obviously fairly complex, but simply making an effort not to bring the past, or your stresses and anxieties, into the time you spend with your child will go a long way. Conscious parenting might sound like work, but it can actually be executed rather easily. I found that remembering the acronym “AFTER” works for me when I’m dealing with a situation with one of my children and my first reaction is to be upset.

A-aware (Be aware that you are reacting to what is going on internally for you and not responding to the situation at hand)

F-focus (Focus on what is happening in the moment)

T-time (Take time to count to at least 5 so you can calm down)

E- Empathy (Forgive yourself for what you had done in the past and have empathy for yourself)

R- Re-enter (Re-enter the interaction with a new insight and respond appropriately with empathy)

Until about 10 years ago, I wasn’t sure what being conscious meant, and all I wanted to do was be a mom and to become a psychologist. As the years went by, I realized that I was often busy thinking about the goals I wanted to reach and thinking about my past. When I became a mom, I wasn’t really aware of how my level of consciousness and awareness would affect my children. Being a mom brought up things in me that had nothing to do with my children, but rather made me realize there are some things I’ve carried with me since I was a child. I had a lot of insecurities and there was a part of me that was still that little child who was crying and screaming out for attention, who was hurt and abused and needed guidance and support, and nobody was there. While my children are clearly not in the same situation, they were victims of my insecurities when I projected them through my parenting. Once I became aware that this was happening, as I progressed with my education of child development and mindfulness, I realized how important it is to be a parent and how much attention/responsibility and self-awareness is required on a daily basis.

As a therapist, it is my job to help people explore their inner worlds. After years of clients sharing their stories, it became clear to me that no matter what I would tell them, they weren’t readily accepting what I was saying because they had internalized the voices of their parents. It became so evident how very hard it is to erase that first blueprint as it comes to the way we define ourselves and the air we breathe. As parents, we hold a greater power and an immense responsibility, and our actions and behavior help provide our kids with the strong foundations they need to become competent adults.

Next time your child is asking you a question or telling you something exciting that happened, ask yourself if you are listening. Really listening?

What To Include In A Nanny Contract

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that it’s a really good idea to draw up a contract when you hire a nanny. This is good for both you and the person you hire, as it outlines your expectations, sets up terms of payments and gives you both something to refer back to so there is no confusion. As someone who worked as a nanny, I know I appreciated understanding my role, and my most successful relationships occurred when there was ultimate transparency.

nanny contract

Here’s a quick breakdown of what should go in a nanny contract:

  • The timeframe of the agreement. This can be ongoing, but you should establish a minimum timeframe (like a year) that you expect payment conditions and responsibilities to be relatively stable.
  • How amendments can be made to the agreement. Include something about how you will notify your nanny of changes and how she can suggest changes.
  • Termination conditions. Make sure to include how the contract can be terminated.
  • Nanny’s duties and responsibilities. This is where you should be as specific as possible, but without going overboard. Make sure to include things like if you expect your nanny to travel with you occasionally.
  • This is where you want to list out days of the week and hours. Include how you will handle any overtime or additional days needed.
  • Driving rules and responsibilities, if any. If your nanny will be taking public transportation or cabs, make sure to outline how you will reimburse or pay for these things.
  • Compensation package. Include a schedule of payments, health benefits, overtime and fringe benefits like paid holidays, vacation, sick leave and bonuses.
  • Social media. I wrote about this in my last post, but make sure to include any privacy stipulations you have when it comes to your children appearing on social media.

Because as parents we sometimes want to know what typical benefits look like, I’ll list out what is pretty standard when it comes to vacation times. Keep in mind that all families are different, and what is most important is working out a schedule and vacation time that works for both you and your nanny.

  • 8-10 paid holidays a year
  • Health insurance or a percentage of health premium
  • Paid sick days

Navigating Nannies And Technology: How To Keep Your Nanny Off Her Phone

Things have changed a lot since I was a nanny, and one of the biggest challenges I

see today that didn’t exist in generations past is navigating technology and

childcare. Not only is the constant presence of technology – smart phones, iPads,

video games, etc. – something we have to monitor with our children, it’s something

that needs to be considered when it comes to your nanny.

First and foremost, nannies who are on their phones all the time are putting

children in serious dangerous. I actually witnessed a child cross the street by

himself while a nanny was texting and she didn’t see the car coming that almost hit

the child. I think this is something that parents and babysitters/nannies alike have

to be very conscious of in today’s world. I also think it’s a good idea to practice what

you preach. If your children see you on the phone all the time, not making eye

contact, not paying attention to what’s going on in the present moment, then that is

what they are going to model as they grow up. We can’t expect our children – or

other who watch our children – to put down the screens when we aren’t willing to

do so ourselves.

When it comes to making sure your nanny isn’t texting, tweeting, Snapchatting and

Facebooking on the job, here’s what I recommend.

1) A Contract. I advocate all parents have written contracts with their nannies

because it establishes ground rules and expectations so that everyone is on

the same page. I definitely recommend putting in a line or two about social

media and cell phones in general. If you don’t want your children to be

posted about online, you need to explicitly state this in the contract.

Oftentimes, nannies will post photos when a child does something cute. Or,

maybe they are sending a Snapchat video to a friend. There are so many

different outlets where people are documenting their everyday lives in

today’s world that there are probably social media channels you don’t even

understand or know about. It’s best to outline from the beginning what you

are comfortable with and what you don’t want to happen. If you don’t want

your children to be posted about, make sure to set a black and white rule

from the beginning.

2) Set realistic expectations. It’s not realistic to tell your nanny she should never

be on her phone and then expect her to always be in constant contact with

you. If you are the type of person who wants to be able to send a text and find

out how the kids are or be able to call and give an update about your arrival

time, then you are also setting the expectation that your nanny has a phone

on her at all times. This is fine as long as you also communicate that your

children’s safety is of the utmost importance. Make sure to remind your

nanny you want her holding your kids’ hands when you cross the street, are

getting in and our of cabs, etc., and that in these situations you’d rather your

phone calls be ignored.

3) Monitor. If you happen to be on social networks, it’s not a bad idea to

occasionally check to make sure your nanny isn’t posting unwanted photos of

your kids. If you are at work or out at night and you see your nanny, who is

with your kids, posting status updates constantly, this is a major red flag.

Remind your nanny that you prefer she limit her phone time when she is

around your children. It’s like any other job in that you want her complete

attention on her job – which is keeping your children safe. Also listen for

your children’s feedback. If they make comments about the nanny always

being on her phone, this is something you should address immediately.

As with most things, the more clear and direct you are about rules and expectations,

the better things will go. Make sure you convey all of your privacy concerns in a

contract and remind your nanny that you prefer to have her off her phone as much

as possible for safety reasons.

6 Brain Boosting Snacks To Serve Your Kids

fruitWater

Like many adults, kids often do not get enough water over the course of their day.

If your kids find plain water unappealing, try chilling a pitcher of water with an infusion of fruit, such as oranges or strawberries, to add flavor.

Greek Yogurt

Fat is key to brain health, as it helps keep cell membranes flexible and better able to send and receive information. Full-fat Greek yogurt provides a healthy amount of fat along with protein to boost energy and carry a young scholar through until dinner time.

Serve it up:  Use Greek yogurt in smoothies for a protein boost, combining it with fruits or even greens for greater nutritional benefits. Or serve it up by the bowl and stir in some dried fruit or granola.

Fruit

Almost any fruit can make a healthy afternoon snack. Melons and citrus fruits contain lots of water to help with hydration. Apples and plums are tasty and contain quercetin, an antioxidant that can protect against cognitive decline. Blueberries and strawberries pack plenty of antioxidants into a serving, and are easy to eat by the handful.

Serve it up:  Most kids enjoy fruit on its own. Choose easy-to-peel clementine oranges, tasty Gala apples, or seedless grapes for easy eating. Other possibilities: dried fruit snacks like raisins, unsweetened apple sauce, or smoothies made with frozen fruit when fresh favorites like blueberries are out of season.

Eggs

Eggs are an awesome little package of nutrition. They provide a full serving of protein along with omega-3 fats, choline, and lutein — all nutrients that are essential to healthy brain operation.

Serve it up:  It’s easy to hard-boil a batch of eggs on the weekend and have them on hand all week for quick snacking. Peeled and stored in a sealed plastic bag or container, the eggs will keep for 5-7 days. Older kids can also learn to scramble an egg and combine it with spinach or salsa in a whole-grain tortilla for a tasty snack.

Vegetables with Dip

Plenty of kids enjoy munching on carrots, celery sticks, grape tomatoes, or red pepper strips on their own, but adding dip can boost both flavor appeal and nutrition. Use Greek yogurt rather than sour cream as a base for your dip. Buy or make your own hummus, and look for a recipe with turmeric for another brain power boost.

Seeds and Nuts

Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and almonds are high in protein and healthy oils and just a small handful makes a full serving. Studies have found nuts and seeds to have a mood-boosting effect as well. Even kids with nut allergies can enjoy some nuts and seeds that do not trigger the allergic response — just check labels carefully to be sure that they are not processed in the same facility as peanuts or other allergenic nuts.

Serve it up:  Make your own trail mix of nuts and seeds and add raisins or other dried fruit and sprinkle in some chocolate chips. Another possibility: get small, whole-grain crackers and spread with almond or sunflower butter to make fun mini sandwiches.

Snack time after school is a great opportunity to give your kids healthy foods that will actually help them to learn to eat healthfully and for nourishment.

Top 5 Qualities I Look For In A Nanny/Babysitter

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Long before I was a psychologist and even a parent I was a nanny, and then a “Nanny Spy.” Last week, I shared some red flags to look for during an interview, but today I wanted to share the top five qualities I look for when evaluating a nanny or hiring someone to watch my own children.

  1. Someone with Excellent Recommendations

When you are searching for a sitter, one of the best tips is to network among your friends, family and co-workers to gather a list of sitters that they have used. Sitters who come highly recommended are more likely to be experienced, knowledgeable and trustworthy. Think of hiring a babysitter in the same way that you would hire an employee for your business. Would you want to hire an employee who did not have good quality references, and who was not recommended by past employers?

  1. Someone with First Aid Experience

One quality  you should never compromise on is that your sitter have a CPR certification, or at least have basic first aid knowledge. Accidents happen, especially where children are concerned. Your sitter should know how to clean and bandage cuts and scrapes, perform CPR and perform the Heimlich maneuver. If you have a baby or small child, it is important for your sitter to know how to perform these life-saving techniques specifically for infants and toddlers, so that their small bodies are not injured.

  1. Someone who Bonds with Your Family

You want to look for a sitter who has a connection to you and your family. This is not to say that you will have some instant bond, in which a halo of light forms around the sitter’s face, but when you interview potential sitters, you should be able to pick up on which individual will work best with your family. It is best to look for a babysitter who will reinforce your values and belief systems while you are gone.

The interview process should also involve your children spending time with their potential new sitter. You want to make sure that your children feel comfortable around their sitter, and that they are willing to communicate with her/him. Allowing your children to spend time with a potential sitter is especially important if you have an infant, since a baby’s needs are more sensitive, and their schedules are more intense.

  1. Someone who will Follow Your Rules

There is nothing worse than hiring a sitter who will allow your children to gorge themselves on candy and soda, and then allow them to stay up as late as they want. Therefore, it is very important to find a babysitter who will follow your household rules to the letter. It is a good idea to ask your babysitter’s references about whether the sitter is good at following rules, and if they are perceived to have issues with authority.

  1. Someone who is Mature

While there is no standard age for babysitting, it is important to hire a sitter who is mature and responsible, no matter her/his years. For example, it may be best for you to hire a 14-year-old who has helped take care of her three younger brothers and sisters, as opposed to a 16-year-old who has never changed a diaper.

The next time that you need a night on the town and are looking for a babysitter, remember to hire someone who has excellent recommendations, who has first aid experience, who bonds with your family, who will follow your rules and who is mature. Using these five criteria for things you should look for in a babysitter will ensure that you select a sitter who is a right fit for your family.

Are Your Nanny And Your Child Getting Along?

Signs your nanny and child are developing a secure attachment

“Attachment style” is one of those phrases that gets thrown around a lot by behavioral psychologists, and that’s because it is a very important concept. But what are we really talking about? It’s fairly simple. Attachment refers to the relationship or bond a child has with his or her primary caregivers.

Think back to your own childhood and the important people in your life. The trust you placed in your parents and other caregivers significantly impacted your future relationships, whether you’ve ever taken the time to realize this or not. So, yes, attachment is important. It’s important your child feels confident in a caregiver. It’s important your child feels supported and can place trust in authority figures. This is how your child will grow to maintain strong relationships as well as exert independence.

Attachment starts when your child is just a baby. When the baby gives a cue or signal, such as a cry, outstretched arms or a smile, and the caregiver responds warmly, gently and sensitively, the baby begins to feel secure. The baby is learning, “I can count on this person to meet my needs. And, even though I don’t have words yet, I can tell this person what I need and feel confident that I will be heard.”

How do I know if the attachment between my child and me is secure?

Here are the two main things you want to look out for as a new parent:

1) The baby readily turns to you at times of distress and finds comfort in your arms or in your gentle reassurance; 2) The baby uses you as a “secure base” from which to venture out and explore the environment, periodically touching base with you to renew confidence.

If you’re employed outside the home and have a fulltime nanny or your child goes to daycare, this doesn’t mean you can’t build secure attachments with your child. In fact, research has shown that whether or not a parent is employed outside the home and whether a baby attends out-of-home childcare or not has little influence on attachment styles. It’s all about being emotionally available to your child when you are at home and also making sure whoever else is a primary caregiver is emotionally available.

Signs of Healthy Attachment

Even children who are experiencing attachment strain may show some of these signs of healthy attachment, so you should always be on the lookout for indications your child is not adjusting well to a caregiver. These are the signs you want to look out for when evaluating how your baby and small child is responding to both you and your nanny.

  1. Joyful the majority of the time.
  2. Seeks out primary caregiver for comfort and to meet needs.
  3. Likes to be cradled and held facing primary caregiver.
  4. Makes good eye contact with primary caregiver and initiates eye contact – both close & distant proximity.
  5. When primary caregiver makes eye contact, the child smiles back, showing signs of being happy with the interaction.
  6. Smiles and exhibits pleasure when seeing self in the mirror.
  7. Frequently engages in playful interactions with primary caregiver (interactions initiated by both parent and child.)
  8. Uses different cries to alert primary caregiver of needs and wants; easily consoled by primary caregiver.
  9. Willingly allows primary caregiver to hold bottle, hand feed, and nurture.
  10. Melts into primary caregiver when held; lays head on shoulder; holds on when held; faces primary caregiver rather than away.
  11. Enjoys cuddling, hugs, and kisses given by primary caregiver and initiates cuddling, hugs, and kisses without wanting something in return.
  12. Imitates primary caregiver regularly (actions, language, etc.)
  13. Settles quickly when held by primary caregiver.
  14. Prefers close proximity to primary caregiver but not in an anxious, desperate way.
  15. Consistently sleeps well and peacefully.
  16. Wants to please primary caregiver because he knows it will make his parent happy.
  17. Reacts appropriately to pain; wants primary caregiver to nurture him when in pain or sick; easily consoled.
  18. Displays age appropriate anxiety at brief separation from primary caregiver but is able to be reassured.
  19. Reunites happily with primary caregiver with eye contact and physical contact.
  20. Show signs of feeling safe in social situations; able to play and interact with others, but stays close and checks in with primary caregiver regularly but not in an anxious or desperate way.
  21. Gets along with other children & siblings most of the time.
  22. Is okay with primary caregiver leaving the room for short periods of time. Conversely, cares that primary caregiver has left the room and shows happiness when that person returns.
  23. Angry outbursts/tantrums are infrequent, short in duration. Nanny can soothe child.
  24. “Normal” discipline methods/parenting techniques are effective.
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Robert Wise Productions

What Is Mindfulness And How Can It Help Your Everyday Life?

In addition to tips for childcare and family wellness, I’m eager to share with you ways to improve your own personal mental well-being. One of the things that helped me finally overcome my eating disorder was the idea of mindfulness. People often associate mindfulness with meditation, but this doesn’t mean you need to meditate for hours every day. Being mindful is as simple as focusing on your breath and focusing on the moment, in the moment.

From reducing anxiety to lowering your blood pressure to improving your quality of sleep, doctors and researchers have proven the enormous benefits that come with a mindful approach to the way you live your life.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, has this definition: “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

Every aspect of that definition is so significant. We could all use a reminder to bring attention to our thoughts, focus on the purpose behind out thoughts, stay in the moment and not let ourselves do a million things at once and allow ourselves to just be, without judgment.

For me, writing has always been a big part of my awareness; it’s allowed me to focus on myself and see things more clearly. Many people really benefit from a mindful approach to journaling each day. I encourage you to find something – whether that’s a journal, a prayer or a breathing exercise – that allows you to bring mindfulness into your daily routine, or at least your weekly schedule.

ACTIVITY:

One simple way to try mindfulness on your own involves something that Dr. Karen O’Leary, a researcher in applied psychology, calls a 10-20 minute “body scan.” It involves sitting up straight and focusing on your breathing as you gradually bring attention to each part of your body. You can learn more about the exercise and some of the benefits of mindfulness on WebMD.

Mindfulness

A Guide To Handling Conflict With Your Nanny: Here’s What NOT To Do

No matter how great your nanny is, there will inevitably be conflict. It’s a fact of all relationships. If handled well, issues provide opportunities for personal and relationship growth. Pretty much all conflicts involve the underlying needs of all humans including physical, intellectual, emotional, social and spiritual needs (Miller & Miller, 1997; Townsend, 2010). The way in which we tackle the conflicts will determine the outcomes.

When I worked as a Nanny Spy, I saw countless problems that got blown out of proportion or went undetected and led to bigger problems because of mishandled conflicts. The most important piece of advice I can give is to handle conflicts directly, promptly and face-to-face with your nanny. NEVER talk about your nanny behind her back or talk negatively in front of her to your children, as this will breed unrest within your home.

Communication is way more than just your words. It involves your body language and tone, as well. Communication roadblocks occur when two people talk in such a way that neither one feels understood. Research has found four particularly negative styles of communication, often referred to as the “four horsemen of the apocalypse,” (Gottman, 1999) because if left unchecked, these styles of interaction can eventually become lethal to relationships. Gottman identified these styles as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Criticism is direct attacks on the other person focusing on his or her personality or character. “You are so inconsiderate!” is a criticism. However, a critique focuses on the actual behavior. For example, “I am upset because you did not call to tell me you were late.” Here, you aren’t addressing the person’s intentions, just the behavior that caused you to be upset.

Contempt is openly showing a lack of respect and annoyance for another person using body language, sarcasm or name-calling.

Defensiveness is a natural reaction to conflict, but when you stop listening to the other person and are only focused on backing up your own actions, you will not make any progress. It’s important that your nanny feels heard when she has a problem, as well, and it’s important you don’t immediately jump to defending yourself.

Stonewalling is completely withdrawing from the conversation and refusing to take part. Resolution will not be possible if one person refuses to participate in the discussion.

These are four things that you should avoid when handling conflicts in any of your relationships. It’s also a good idea to start modeling healthy conflict resolution for your children. Conflicts are a normal part of all healthy relationships and it’s important to remember that the nanny-parent relationship will be no different. Effectively communicating and working through issues will help you both to grow and the relationship to last.

Remember to never handle conflicts with your nanny in front of the child. Also, if your child has a specific complaint about the nanny, you’ll want to do your due diligence to verify the complaint before becoming accusatory. If there is something seriously wrong, I always recommend a third party for mediation.

10 Warning Signs To Look Out For When Interviewing A Nanny

All interviews are going to be a little bit different depending on your style of communication, what you are looking for and the candidates, but there are some consistencies all interviews with a potential childcare provider should follow. First and foremost, it’s important the person you are interviewing can form a connection with your child. It’s also extremely important that you are able to communicate easily with the person you are interviewing and you feel that person is communicating openly and honestly, as well.

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In another blog, I’ll share some of my favorite questions to ask on an interview and what to look out for, but today I wanted to share what you SHOULDN’T see. Here are 10 Major Warning Signs:

  1. Being Late

When people are late to interviews it shows a total disregard for time management and a lack of respect for your time. If an interviewee is late before she even has a job, what will she do five months from now?

  1. No interaction with your child

It’s very important the person you are interviewing makes a conscious effort to talk to/interact with your child. If your child is a toddler, you want someone to get down at eye level and really attempt to make a connection. You need to know that the person you are interviewing understands that this is the essence of the job – and more important than anything that could possibly be answered with a verbal response.

  1. No clear examples from previous employers

You should ask the person you are interviewing for previous experiences handling difficult situations or times when previous jobs were challenging, rewarding, etc. If you feel the person you are interviewing is giving vague, cookie-cutter answers, or trying to avoid talking previous employment altogether, this could be an indication of a lack of experience or something at the previous job ending badly.

  1. Unable to articulate a clear schedule

You’ll want to ask potential candidates about their flexibility and schedules. For example, do they take classes? Do they have families of their own? Do they have some other type of employment? Do they travel a lot? It’s important to get a sense of how much time someone can actually dedicate to the job and if your family’s schedule can be a priority. If you are interviewing someone and she doesn’t seem to know where she’ll be in school in three months or if she will need to take time off for family issues, you want to make sure you understand the risks involved.

  1. Too much concern with salary and benefits

While this is something that should definitely be discussed and agreed upon (nanny contract) before someone begins working for you, it’s a major red flag if this gets brought up too soon in the interview process. It’s fine to discuss benefits and basic salary, but if it seems the person you’re interviewing is shopping around for the best deal and is totally consumed with the money above all else, it’s a major warning sign.

  1. Extreme nervousness

It’s understandable someone might be nervous on an interview, but you want to get the sense the person you are interviewing can be confident in stressful situations. Particularly if someone seems nervous around your child, you should take pause. Try to notice if any part of the interview, or any question in particular, seems to make the person uncomfortable. This could be a sign of trying to hide something or a lack of experience.

  1. A philosophy that contradicts your own

You’ll want the people you interview to articulate a clear childcare philosophy. This doesn’t have to be advanced, but it’s important to gauge whether someone can enforce and aid you in caring for your child in a way that makes you comfortable. You’ll want to ask about punishment and reward systems, for example, to make sure you are on the same page.

  1. Lack of experience

In general, a lack of experience should be fairly obvious just from a resume, but you’ll also want to make sure someone’s answers back up what the resume says. Ask for lots of concrete examples and make sure the person you are interviewing has experience with children who are specifically your child’s/children’s age.

  1. Off-putting personality

At the end of the day, there is a component of the interview that involves a “gut instinct.” Sometimes, you just won’t think your personality matches with the person you are interviewing. Maybe the person has a sense of humor that makes you uneasy. Be especially tuned in to how you feel talking and being in a room with this person. Is it easy to hold a conversation? Could you see yourself coming in after a long day at work and interacting with this person on a daily basis?

  1. Bad or no questions

Finally, if a potential nanny doesn’t ask you any questions, that’s reason for concern. It’s important for candidates to show an interest in your child, in your schedule, in your rules and philosophy and in your previous experience with nannies. One of the easiest ways to tell how much experience and interest in the position someone has is by how advanced and thought-out the questions are that you get asked. If someone asks a question you clearly already answered, that’s also a warning sign for lack of listening skills.